The Real Story of Our First Military Homecoming

So you’ve seen the videos and the pictures—the moments captured “perfectly.” But has anyone been real with you about how military homecomings actually go? No? Well good, that’s what I’m here to do today!


My husband got back from his first deployment last November. We were so excited, but my biggest fear was somehow missing his arrival. Usually, they have to take buses back to base from wherever they fly into, and that was the case for him, too. He told me that returning his weapon to the armory would take at least two hours once they arrived. So, despite knowing he was on his way to Camp Pendleton, I figured I had plenty of time! I had the kids dressed and thought, "Well, let me do some last-minute cleaning and get the homecoming poster hung up."


Then, to my complete surprise, he texted me that the armory only took 10 minutes and he’d be heading to the hangar soon… I’m sorry, what?!


I threw the kids in the car so fast. My son, Jonah, who was about two and a half and recently potty-trained, didn’t get a chance to go before we left… but in my mind, I knew I could not risk missing the moment those buses pulled up. When we arrived, the buses weren’t there yet, but I knew it could happen at any second. I didn’t know where the nearest restrooms were, so I took our chances and walked through the hangar, past the sea of people, posters, and snack tables.


Five minutes later—yes, FIVE!—the buses rolled up.


Everyone piled out, stood in formation, and was released. We looked and looked, but couldn't see Daniel anywhere. Turns out he was way over on the far right side, and we were all the way on the left! When I finally spotted him, I always thought I’d want that cinematic first hug all to myself. Instead, I instinctively knelt down to Jonah’s level and pointed his eyes toward his daddy. He saw him, and they found each other instantly.


I even tried to get a video of their reunion! But when I watched it back later, I realized I only had a one-second clip—I’d pressed the record button to stop it, thinking I was starting it. But honestly? I was just too focused on watching their reunion with my own eyes (how it should be!).


Jonah was so happy to see Daniel. My daughter was only 10 months old, so she didn’t fully get it, but she was just happy to see her dad's face in real life instead of on FaceTime. We were all soaking in the presence of our hero and catching up with a friend while Daniel held Jonah... when suddenly, Daniel felt something warm and wet on his side.


Yup. Jonah peed on Daniel!

I felt awful because I knew getting him to go potty was my job! But in the crazy rush, I just didn’t have a chance. (Luckily, I kept spare clothes in the car!).


All this to say: there is so much that can go right and wrong with homecomings. The armory can take 10 minutes, or it can take two hours. Your kid might pee their pants. Who really knows! But nothing changes the fact that this is a once-in-a-lifetime moment.


If you're preparing for an upcoming homecoming, here is what you can actually expect—and how to survive the day with your sanity intact.


And by the way, the only reason there is a photo of the four of us together at the hangar and the photo of me and kids waiting for the buses is because we got LUCKY and the USO photographer happened to get them! Otherwise we would have had nothing from that day besides the self-timer on the car in front of the banner photo... lol


Expectation #1: The Timeline is Written in Jell-O


When you’re counting down those final days, you’ll probably be given an estimated homecoming date about a week out—and that date will almost certainly change! Hopefully, it only shifts by a day or two, but with the Marine Corps, there is truly no way to know for sure.


Even once you have an "official" date locked in, there are so many variables that can throw off the actual time of arrival—whether your spouse is pulling into a hangar at MCAS Camp Pendleton, marching onto a parade deck, returning to a motor pool, or coming back to the boat basin at Del Mar.


Flights get delayed. Ships take time to dock. Gear checks take forever. Sometimes a unit literally misplaces a piece of gear on the tarmac, or it takes hours for the Marines to unload their own heavy gear before being released to their families.


My Best Timeline Survival Tips:

  • Prep Everything 2–3 Days Early: Do not leave snack packing, outfit picking, or poster making until the day of. Make sure the outfits are ready, your car’s gas tank is full, and your banner is ready to go. I waited until the last second to finish my poster and was frantically rushing out the door—save yourself the stress!
  • Play the Waiting Game Smart: If your kids don't do well sitting around in a drafty hangar or hot parking lot for hours, wait to drive over to base until you get word that they are actually close.


Bottom line: Just expect everything to go not as planned, embrace the chaos, and go with the flow!


Expectation #2: Location Dictates Your Strategy


Where your spouse releases on base completely changes how you should dress, pack, and navigate the day. Meeting your Marine in a drafty hangar feels very different from standing on a sunny parade deck or waiting near the water!


Camp Pendleton micro-climates are no joke. A hangar at MCAS Camp Pendleton can be freezing and windy early in the morning, while an afternoon release on an open asphalt parade deck or motor pool will have you baking in zero shade.


On top of the weather, physical barriers on base can throw a wrench in your plans if you aren't prepared for the specific setup of the release location.


My Best Location Survival Tips:

  • Beware the "Wagon Trap" at Hangar Gates: A friend of mine brought her kids in a wagon to a hangar homecoming to keep her energetic toddlers contained—which seemed genius! But when she got to the hangar entrance, the entry was through narrow metal turnstiles. The wagon couldn't fit, and she didn't want to unstrap the kids in a huge crowd. She had to wait for someone to find a key for the big side gate, and by the time they unlocked it, she had missed the buses rolling up and her husband’s arrival! If you bring a stroller or wagon, be ready to unbuckle and carry the kids through narrow security gates so you don't get stuck.
  • Layer Up for the Micro-Climate: Always bring a cardigan, denim jacket, or light coat for yourself and the kids. You might start off shivering in a drafty metal hangar and end up in bright sunlight an hour later.
  • Pick Shoes You Can Sprint In: High heels look gorgeous in pictures, but you might be standing on hard concrete for an hour, walking across grass, or chasing a toddler across a parking lot. Stick with cute flats, low block heels, or stash comfy shoes in your bag!
  • Ditch the Sunglasses for the Big Moment: If you’re at a sunny parade deck or outdoor release, it’s super tempting to wear sunglasses while waiting. But when the buses roll up and you go in for that first embrace, push them up on top of your head or throw them in your bag! Dark lenses block your eyes in photos and videos, hiding all those genuine tears and happy facial expressions. If the sun is blinding, grab a cute wide-brimmed hat instead—it shades your face from the heat without blocking your eyes in photos!


Bottom line: Know your environment ahead of time, pack for the weather, and make sure your gear can actually fit through the gate!

Expectation #3: Unsexy Logistics & Protecting Your Space


Beyond the emotional chaos, there are a few practical, "unsexy" details you have to handle ahead of time—including deciding who actually gets to be there.


My Best Logistics Survival Tips:

  • Give Yourself Permission to Keep It Intimate: Can I be totally real with you for a second? If you want homecoming to be just you and your kids, that is 100% okay. You do not owe anyone an invitation to the flight line or parade deck! Navigating a homecoming with toddlers is hard enough without having to host extended family or manage extra opinions. If in-laws or friends want to come support, it is completely valid to ask them to wait at your house with a cooked meal or meet up the next day so your core family gets that raw, uninterrupted first moment together. (or honestly make them wait a week or two if that's what is best for your family!!!)
  • Beware of the Trusted Traveler Pause (And Check Visitor IDs!): If you do decide to bring out-of-town extended family, friends, or a photographer who doesn't have base access, plan ahead! Camp Pendleton's Trusted Traveler Program is currently paused. You cannot simply sponsor visitors through the gate with your military ID anymore. Anyone without base access MUST get an official visitor pass ahead of time through the visitor center or your unit's ombudsman/FRO. Do NOT wait until homecoming morning—lines at the Visitor Center can easily take hours right now! Plus, make sure your guests bring a REAL ID or a valid Passport to get those passes, as standard non-compliant IDs won’t be accepted at the gate or Visitor Center.
  • Check ID Expiration Dates: Double-check that your military ID and driver's license haven't expired while your spouse was gone. The absolute last place you want to be turned away at 5:00 AM is the main gate!
  • Know Your Gate & Release Location: Camp Pendleton is massive. Main Gate (Oceanside), San Luis Rey, or San Onofre gates can add 20–30 minutes of driving depending on where on base the unit is releasing. Map out your route the night before!


Bottom line: Protect your peace, double-check your paperwork, and don't feel guilty about prioritizing your immediate family's needs.


Expectation #4: Wrangling Kids & Managing Big Reactions

I know you’ve been imagining this day since the very second your spouse left. I did, too! You daydream about that cinematic first embrace, the huge smile on your kids' faces, and the running hugs when they see their dad or mom for the first time in months.


I get it, and I also have to say with love: it may not go anything like you expect it to!


After so many months apart, everyone processes emotions differently—especially babies and toddlers. When my husband got home, my daughter was 11 months old. She was only 3 months when he left, so even though she saw his face on FaceTime, she didn't truly recognize him in person. She definitely did not want a hug or to be held by him at homecoming, and honestly, it took about five months after he got back for her to fully warm up and let him hold and play with her!


Luckily, my son (who was about two and a half) hugged Daniel so tight and didn't want to let go—he even got a little teary-eyed. But then, as you know... he peed on him 10 minutes later! 💀


Truly, these moments rarely play out like a scripted movie. The best thing you can do for your peace of mind is to drop all expectations and just take the day as it comes.


My Best Kid Survival Tips:

  • Prioritize Comfort Over Fancy Clothes: There is nothing worse for a young child than being tired, hot or cold, and stuck in tight, itchy, restrictive clothes. It is a meltdown waiting to happen! Pick soft, breathable, comfortable outfits that still look cute in photos so your kids can move, sit, and wait comfortably.
  • Pack Mess-Free Snacks: If you aren't sure what food or snacks will be provided at the release location, bring your own! Stick to low-mess options like meat sticks, crackers, gummies, and fruit pouches (maybe with a little supervision!). Avoid chocolate, powdery snacks, or sticky foods that will ruin cute outfits before your spouse even steps off the bus.
  • Give Everyone Grace to Reconnect: Whether your child runs into their parent's arms, completely freezes up, or needs a few weeks to adjust, remember that it is all 100% normal. Give your little ones time and space to warm up at their own pace.


Bottom line: Drop the picture-perfect expectations, keep your kids comfy, and let the real, unscripted magic happen naturally.

Expectation #5: Why Having a Photographer is a Lifesaver (And Quiet Homecomings)


Now, you might be wondering if you should hire a photographer to capture these moments.

Homecomings pass in a total blur. Instead of accidentally hitting "stop" instead of "record" like I did—or viewing the most important reunion of your year through an iPhone screen—having a photographer allows you to be 100% present. You get to throw your hands around your spouse's neck, lock eyes, and hold your kids without stressing about capturing the moment yourself.


What If My Spouse Wants a Private Reunion?


I want to share something very close to my heart: not everyone wants a camera in their face the second they step off the bus.


When Daniel was coming home, I so badly wanted photos, but he felt strongly about wanting our initial reunion to be private. I completely respected that! But I still wished someone offered a middle ground.


That’s why I offer Quiet Homecoming Sessions.


If you or your spouse prefer a private first embrace, I simply wait in the parking lot or near your vehicle during the initial reunion. Once you've had your private moment to hug, breathe, and take each other in, I step in to capture those beautiful, candid connection moments right after—when your family is officially back together. You get to honor your spouse’s comfort level and still get those once-in-a-lifetime memories captured!


A Note on OPSEC (Operations Security)


As a military spouse myself, I understand the critical importance of OPSEC. I will never post dates, times, specific locations, or photos until the command gives the official green light and everyone is safely back on U.S. soil. You can count on me to keep your family's safety and privacy at the top of my priority list.


You've Got This Mama!


No matter the delays, gate hassles, drafty hangars, or toddler accidents, that moment when you fall into each other's arms makes every single hard day of deployment worth it.


If you’re preparing for an upcoming Camp Pendleton homecoming and want to hand off the stress of capturing the day, I would be so honored to be there for your family.


Let's make sure you get to be 100% present for the magic.